I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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