you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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