Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
