omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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