He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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