gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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