Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
