and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I touched a dick in church today
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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