what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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