I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
