currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
