Moan for me like Helen Keller
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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