i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
