we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
