Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nut hugger
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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