I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
