what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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