come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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