Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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