I will die if light touches me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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