I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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