We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A bitchslap is in order.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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