nut hugger
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You did what with his pubic hair?
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