Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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