just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize