Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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