can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
