this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i barfeds in our rink
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize