I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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