Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize