The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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