I didn't shave. On purpose
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
