Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
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