did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
