I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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