He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
