We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
