when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
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My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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