I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize