It's Friday. Sex?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
