I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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