Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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