How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want nice things and good sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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