I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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