The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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