We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize