I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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