Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize