Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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