No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
