I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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