its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
