Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
