you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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