dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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