We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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