He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
