I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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