ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
