I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
