Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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