im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
