Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
